We are back with Out, Proud and African, our special Pride Month series that curates stories of Africans on the continent and in the diaspora who are out, visible and living their truths. We recognise that to be out as an African is not easy and we celebrate these individuals who are at the forefront of the fight for equality. Today, our feature is from Nigerian writer and award winning filmmaker, Noni Salma. This is her coming out story.
ON COMING OUT
It was important for me to define myself to the world; to own my narrative so that no one else but me is the architect of my own story. I also knew that by coming out, I would be giving many young ones permission, something to see that says: ‘it is possible’.
TO BE OUT AND AFRICAN
Even though I am out in some ways, I still navigate the world in some form of stealth manner which is partly for survival and partly because the world doesn’t assume you are trans if you look a certain way. But for areas where I’m out, as an African i find that I have to constantly educate people on the right language and terms to use. Also there is the burden of being one of the few lucky ones when talking to other folks who want to be free but can’t because of their environment.
One of the major ways coming out affected me was being cut off from family. The good thing is it allows you to see what is real and what is just smokescreen. It sets you on this journey of finding the ones who can love you unconditionally.
CHALLENGES OF BEING OUT AND AFRICAN
For me, I struggle with reconciling both. Being trans always comes first for me because I know that no matter where I am or go, I’ll always find my tribe. Being African, you kind of have to fit the mold or you can’t sit at the table. It’s kind of hard to go to African spaces and pronounce your transness without being made to feel like an outcast. Although I’ll always be African, I still struggle with the concept of being both trans and African not because I think both aren’t possible but because of the conflict both identities bring to each other.
ON PRIDE AND ITS IMPORTANCE
To me, Pride means: sacrifice, strength, resilience. Being told you don’t matter and it not killing you. Being told all your life that you are less than but still owning who you are. Taking up space even when there is none created for you. Asserting who you are in a world that says you shouldn’t exist. That is what pride is about.
ADVICE TO MEMBERS OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY STRUGGLING WITH THEIR SEXUALITY OR GENDER IDENTITY.
No one can tell you who you are but you. Know that there is nothing wrong with who you are. Accepting yourself is the greatest form of self love. Of course do it at your pace as your safety comes first but make sure that you lead with clarity and truth.
HOPE FOR THE LGBT COMMUNITY IN AFRICA
More visibility especially for the T (trans people). I hope we get to the point where we are able to demystify this insane idea that being LGBT is unafrican. I hope for more decriminalizing of the archaic bills. More of our people in politics so we can pass legislations that looks out for us. More grass-root services and opportunities for the local communities.
You can follow Noni Salma on Twitter and Instagram.
