Some LGBT persons like to pride themselves by saying “I have so and so persons who know about my sexuality and they are absolutely okay with it.” Fine. Absolutely fine. For most, it becomes exquisitely comfortable to find that some aspect of their lives has become accepted by someone else. I mean, there is a certain comfort (miserable to say the least), that comes with being able to talk about the men you are seeing (or would like to see) with heterosexual men and women — and it is not even always the case.
Nonetheless, is it okay to just be satisfied that one or two people get you? To be comfortable that they understand you and can listen to you rant about the issues you face in your community and outside your community? — again, it is not always the case that they are able to listen to your rants. While it may sound really fulfilling to attain that (fulfilling, yes, a lot of LGBT persons wish that they have that one person), it gets miserable.
In the wake of the #EndSARS protest, the #QueerNigerianLivesMatter sprung up as a personal-yet-justifiable reason for LGBT persons to state their case. And as it grew, we saw the turmoil it created for both communities. We had heterosexual people who have branded themselves as allies of the community tweet things like ‘We support you, but let’s not get distracted…’ and for reasons that they have stood with the community for the longest, we had their LGBT friends reason with them in support of their own ideas about when their lives can be important.
Aisha Yesufu’s tweet of 2019 that resurfaced in 2021 was another event that created a shift between agreeing and disagreeing with LGBT persons on being vocally radical. Some LGBT persons still refused to call her out on her actions, claiming that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I found it very fascinating. Honestly, it was, because how do you say the LGBT persons deserve to live and carry on with their lives only to later disagree with your religion as a backing?
Aisha Yesufu, published a 2019 thread on homosexuality that put her at odds with community members. Those who agree with her were comfortable with the tweet that read: “Do I subscribe to homosexuality and lesbianism? Absolutely not! Do they have a right to do their thing?! Absolutely yes! It is between them and their creator and not between them and myself.” — Aisha Yesufu (Twitter 2019). Her tweet echoes the sentiments of a lot of heterosexual individuals – some who might consider themselves allies. It is a problem if you are LGBT and are comfortable with that sentence; especially when you consider how she used her religion as a backing for her tweet that called the LGBT persons a menace.
Do i subscribe to homosexuality and lesbianism? Absolutely not! Do they have a right to do their thing?! Absolutely yes!
It is between them and their creator and not between them and myself.— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) July 20, 2019
For the longest, allies of the community will support the community to a point and the community itself has had a history of disagreeing on certain things influenced by these so-called allies — especially those that grossly affect them in the end. If we are being honest with ourselves, the fight and struggles they have been trying to end for the longest do not lie in gathering these miserable lots that ‘understand’. On a large scale, they are important but we have also seen them fail several times — on a large scale.
You might want to get comfortable that you are loved, supported, and understood by your favourite heterosexual but it will take more than their understanding you, for you to actually navigate the struggle you will face (with them too). Straight people who parade saying they understand are nothing but privileged people who have mastered the art of ignorance. Especially those who go on to only accept you because of what they may lose or those who accept you simply because you are family or have shared a part of their life in friendship — it does not dismiss it in the end, it is just miserable.
*Featured image from Shutterstock
