International day against homophobia, biphobia, intersexphobia and transphobia (“IDAHOBIT”) is observed every year on May 17. The day aims to raise awareness of LGBT rights violations and stimulate discussions about LGBT rights work across the globe.
In so many countries like Nigeria, queer existence is policed with laws like the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Act. Queer folks are denied basic rights and exposed to gross violence on the basis of their sexual orientation; which is why this year’s theme “Our Bodies, Our Rights Our Choice” is so fitting.
Today we speak to three queer Nigerians about their personal experience with queerphobia to highlight why this day is important.
“I had a friend when I was a diploma student but we lost contact. We reconnected last year and she invited me for her wedding. A few weeks before the wedding I put up a post on my WhatsApp story about being queer, she saw the post and asked if I was part of the LGBT community. I told her I was and immediately she said, “please do not come for my wedding anymore.” – Prism (Ey/She), Student.
“I was outed to my parents by extended family members last year. In reaction they pray a lot for me to change and try to impose conversion practices on me or pretend like my queerness is nonexistent. But the fact that I am masculine in my presentation makes it harder for them to ignore my queerness. Earlier this year my grandmother died and my father told me plainly that if I didn’t present in a feminine manner to the burial ceremony, I should forget about interacting or being seen with him in public. They see my presentation as a flagrant display of my sexuality and that is something they are embarrassed of. Right now they have cast me out of their lives because they think I am possessed and no longer the child they raised. It hurts to know that there is a price to pay for my parent’s love, that they can not do away with their homophobia and transphobia to accept me as I am, as their child.” – Alexandra (They/Them) Human Rights Associate
“Transphobia is so damaging because it is a constant attack on your identity and who you are as a person, often causing imposter syndrome. Cis-heteronormative conditioning has us constantly questioning ourselves, checking if we fit the ideals of our gender. Consequently, dysphoria is an incongruence inflicted on us by the expectations of cis-het society on what our genders should look like and everyday becomes a battle to prove that we are good enough to be who we are.” – Tom (He/Him) Human Rights Campaigner and Educator
As we celebrate IDAHOBIT, know that there are real people, lives, bodies and rights affected by your queerphobia. LGBTQI+ folks deserve to live their sexualities and express their genders without fear of physical violence and oppression.
