At nineteen years old, Joy Brown reached a critical juncture in her life when she seriously began questioning her sexual identity. It was a precarious time as the passage of the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Act had caused a hostile atmosphere against the LGBTQ+ community. Feeling isolated, she sought solace and connection through online platforms, thinking it the safest way to find and relate with others who identified similarly.
She encountered a woman named Christina on Badoo, with whom she engaged in frequent phone conversations. When Christina invited her to visit her in Lagos, she readily accepted. Unfortunately, the person who claimed to be Christina turned out to be three men at the motor park, masquerading as her brothers. What followed was a harrowing experience – Joy was robbed, subjected to physical and sexual abuse, and threatened with exposure to the police based on the conversations and pictures she had exchanged with this false identity. This traumatic experience forced Joy further into the closet, burdened with the weight of the ordeal and unable to confide in anyone for several years.
Reflecting on her journey of navigating her sexuality at a young age in Nigeria Joy says,
“I yearned for the presence of older queer individuals I could have turned to for guidance on dating and safety concerns, particularly in a country like Nigeria. I longed for community spaces and accessible resources that could have spared me from relying on precarious internet connections with strangers to feel a sense of belonging. However, I recognized the challenging reality even for older queer individuals at that time, who also had to prioritise their own safety. Presently, I’m heartened to see that in Nigeria, queer individuals are finding ways to congregate, celebrate, and engage in gatherings like parties and balls. Yet, it’s essential to acknowledge that our needs transcend these events. What happens the day after we leave these joyous occasions? There’s a pressing need for sustained support, accessible resources, and safe spaces that can offer ongoing guidance and community connection beyond these fleeting moments of celebration. As we build spaces for revelry, we must also focus on nurturing avenues for sustained support and community engagement that can aid queer individuals in their daily lives beyond the festivities.”
In recent years, the LGBTQ+ community has witnessed a noticeable shift away from the prevalent hookup culture towards creating more inclusive spaces. This evolution represents a collective pursuit for deeper connections, broader acceptance, and supportive environments that extend beyond fleeting encounters.
For many young queer individuals, the journey toward self-acceptance and societal acceptance is a challenging one, filled with the burden of stigma and discrimination. These hardships often manifest at home, in educational settings, or within their communities, significantly impacting mental health, confidence, and overall well-being. Thus, the necessity for safe, inclusive spaces devoid of the influence of alcohol and casual sex is not merely a preference but a fundamental need.
While queer parties and raves have their place, they may not be conducive environments for young queer individuals seeking to understand and embrace their identities. Unfortunately, many youth frequenting these spaces face potential risks of exploitation and abuse, emphasising the imperative for neutral spaces acting as sanctuaries, offering solace, understanding, and a profound sense of belonging that is accessible to all queer individuals, irrespective of age.
Exploring the importance of such havens sheds light on their significant role in celebrating diverse identities, providing acceptance, and validating young LGBTQ+ individuals exploring their sense of self. Departing from hookup-focused environments can markedly benefit mental health by alleviating the pressures of transient interactions and fostering more meaningful connections. Furthermore, these inclusive spaces nurture a sense of community, encouraging deeper connections, fostering support networks, and nurturing a genuine sense of belonging.
Alexandra Maduagwu, a Community Organizer and Project Officer for a non-governmental organisation devoted to serving the needs of the queer community, underscores the necessity for these spaces while outlining the challenges faced in their establishment.
“Ideally, easily accessible community centres welcoming all age groups would be invaluable. These spaces could grant younger queer individuals access to libraries, mentors, and essential information that supports their journey towards self-acceptance. However, establishing safe havens for younger individuals, especially minors, poses challenges due to Nigeria’s anti-LGBT rights movement and prevalent fears of LGBTQ+ indoctrination. Parents might strongly oppose their children frequenting these spaces, making it challenging for organisations to cater specifically to the needs of younger queer individuals.”
Despite the hurdles in creating safe spaces for younger queer individuals, hope remains. Organisations can start by encouraging activities fostering connections beyond casual encounters, such as discussion groups, community events, or interest-based clubs. Educating the community on the significance of inclusivity and respect for diverse identities, nurturing empathy and understanding among peers, is crucial. Establishing online/virtual spaces for open and respectful conversations, allowing individuals to express their desires for deeper connections without judgement. Developing support networks offering guidance, acceptance, and resources for young individuals exploring their identities, and disseminating educational information online safely accessible to everyone can also pave the way.
Shifting from a predominant hookup culture towards more inclusive spaces demands a collective effort and a shift in societal norms. It requires a conscious reordering of priorities and a dedicated commitment to fostering connections that transcend mere fleeting encounters. By prioritising inclusivity and cultivating environments that celebrate diversity and meaningful connections, the LGBTQ+ community can offer young individuals the opportunity to explore and embrace their identities authentically.
