Public restrooms are spaces that many of us take for granted, but for transgender folks, these spaces can be a source of unique challenges, discrimination, or even affirmation. In this article, we delve into the diverse experiences of three trans individuals using public restrooms, shedding light on both the struggles and triumphs they encounter.
Qing, 25 (He/Him):
“Navigating public restrooms is a source of general discomfort for me, as I find it challenging using facilities that align with my gender identity due to safety concerns. My appearance doesn’t conform to society’s expectations of a masculine person or a man, given my slight frame, making me stand out conspicuously in the men’s restroom. Yet, attempting to use the women’s restroom brings about a similar feeling of being out of place, because of how I dress.
Consequently in the women’s restroom, I’m told I should be in the men’s, and in the men’s, I’m directed to the women’s. These unsolicited conversations in public restrooms often result in being identified as trans, amplifying the challenges I face.
Every visit to a public restroom entails mental calculations, forcing me to make split-second decisions about which restroom to choose – carefully weighing the potential risks of being inadvertently outed as trans and anticipating the potential repercussions that might unfold.
Sometimes I question whether conforming to societal expectations would alleviate my struggles and make me feel safer in these spaces. However, I recognise the absurdity in such a notion – using a restroom shouldn’t be a source of embarrassment, and no one should experience displacement in public spaces.
To mitigate the impact of bad restroom experiences on my day, I’ve adopted a strategy of complete avoidance, conducting all personal business at home. If I must use a public restroom, regardless of gender designation, I meticulously ensure it is empty. The discomfort and numerous uneasy encounters have led me to this coping mechanism, allowing me to regain a semblance of control over an otherwise challenging aspect of daily life.”
Yinka, 23 (They/He)
“As a transmasc individual who generally “passes,” as a man, I typically encounter little to no issue when using public men’s restrooms. However, a lingering awareness of the possibility of hate crimes in these spaces prompts me to minimise my use of public restrooms. The unfortunate reality is that, even while performing a mundane act like using the restroom, there remains an underlying risk of becoming a target.
Regardless of my restroom choice I get perplexed glances sometimes. In women’s restrooms, where I seemingly pass too well, odd looks ensue due to the assumption that I am a man. Conversely, in men’s restrooms, the anomaly is my voice, raising eyebrows among cisgender men who perceive it as “feminine.” This nuanced experience underscores the complexity of navigating public spaces and reinforces the need for greater understanding and acceptance within society.
In handling public restrooms, I adopt a strategy of walking in with confidence, acting like I belong there – a tactic I extend to various spaces. While maintaining caution, especially given the unpredictability of cisgender men, I make a conscious effort not to display any discomfort or a sense of feeling out of place. The occasional odd looks are something I easily brush off, and truth be told, I don’t linger long enough in these spaces to risk being misgendered.
There’s a crucial need for us to embrace the concept of gender-neutral restrooms in Nigeria. The prospect of non-gendered restrooms could significantly reduce anxiety, allowing us to enter without the fear of potential attacks. However, until such spaces become commonplace, my advice to fellow trans individuals navigating similar situations is to exercise caution. Minimise drawing unnecessary attention to yourself, focus on completing your task swiftly, and promptly leave. Vigilance is key, considering the closed environment and the unfortunate potential for unprovoked attacks from others sharing the space.”
Geejay, 28 (He/Him)
“I’ve been fortunate not to face significant challenges in using restrooms that match my identity. Before my medical transition, my naturally masculine appearance allowed me to comfortably use the men’s restroom without drawing undue attention. However I am still quite cautious about drawing unwanted attention to myself so I do my best to go unnoticed. I choose less busy times to use restrooms and take precautions, like ensuring doors are securely locked, while remaining aware of my surroundings.
To enhance my sense of safety in public restrooms, I meticulously plan my visits by considering the timing and traffic flow within public spaces. Opting for restroom breaks during periods of lower foot traffic serves to diminish the likelihood of encountering unwarranted hostility, creating a more secure environment.
In my preparedness, I consistently equip myself with essential items such as tissues, hand sanitizers, and any other necessities for restroom visits. This not only contributes to my overall comfort but also minimises the need for engaging in casual conversation within the restroom, potentially avoiding inadvertent disclosure of personal information. Furthermore, I leverage online resources that furnish valuable insights into LGBTQ+ friendly establishments, particularly in unfamiliar locales. This proactive approach ensures that I can identify and patronise supportive environments, fostering a heightened sense of security. Recognizing the value of solidarity, I occasionally enlist the company of friends or allies when venturing into public restrooms. This companionship serves to alleviate the inherent vulnerability one might feel when alone, creating a supportive network that contributes to a more reassuring restroom experience.”
When questioned about the specific measures or policies they think could improve the restroom experience for transgender individuals in Nigeria, their response included;
- Implementing robust anti-discrimination laws that explicitly encompass gender identity and expression is crucial to safeguarding trans individuals from discrimination in public spaces, including restrooms. Enforcing these laws will create a protective framework, fostering an environment of equality and acceptance.
- Encouraging businesses and public institutions to adopt inclusive restroom policies is pivotal in promoting an environment where individuals can use facilities without fear of discrimination. This advocacy may involve the creation of gender-neutral or single-stall restroom options, offering practical solutions for a more inclusive restroom experience.
- Conducting Sexual Orientation Gender Identity Expression Sex Characteristics (SOGIESC) sensitivity training for law enforcement, security personnel, and public space employees is essential. These training sessions aim to cultivate a respectful and understanding approach toward transgender individuals using restrooms, contributing to a more informed and supportive community.
- Introducing the concept of safe spaces or designated safe restroom zones in public places is a tangible step toward creating environments where individuals can comfortably use facilities aligned with their gender identity. Clearly marking these safe spaces fosters a sense of security and inclusivity.
- Simplifying and streamlining the legal processes for changing names and gender markers on identification documents is paramount. Aligning official documents with an individual’s gender identity reduces potential confusion and challenges faced in public spaces, promoting a more seamless and respectful experience.
- Advocating for workplace inclusivity policies, including restroom policies that support transgender employees, goes a long way. This could involve providing gender-neutral or single-stall restrooms, contributing to a workplace environment that values and respects the diverse identities of its employees.
Our aspiration is for a Nigeria where comprehensive laws and policies foster inclusivity, creating an environment where individuals can navigate public and shared spaces with ease. Envisioning a future where legal frameworks prioritise and protect the diverse needs of all citizens, ensuring a sense of belonging and accessibility for everyone in our community.
