We are back with Out, Proud and African, our special Pride Month series that curates stories of Africans on the continent and in the diaspora who are out, visible and living their truths. We recognise that to be out as an African is not easy and we celebrate these individuals who are at the forefront of the fight for equality. Today, our feature is from South African Content Creator and Writer, Phumlani Kango. This is his coming out story.
ON COMING OUT
I could not continue living a lie as I could feel that I was getting frustrated not being able to freely express myself. It took a long time for me to accept who I am and once that happened, I felt I was ready to come out and live my best life.
TO BE OUT AND AFRICAN
It is complex, because in my country, South Africa, we are protected by our constitution however that is only just on paper because society still marginalizes the queer community. You see this when you access public services such as the police and health care, some public officials are reluctant to help and often impose their beliefs on us. Homophobia is something we have come to expect in certain spaces such as the Taxi Ranks which is why some of us try avoid them as much as possible.
It has also made me much more confident in who I am and everything that I do, I have been comfortable and been able to assert myself in what I want. It also influenced how I relate to others, because being in the closet taught me empathy and understanding, as we never know what people are going through.
CHALLENGES OF BEING OUT AND AFRICAN
Accessing healthcare as a sexual health advocate is difficult for me as there are not many facilities that cater to MsM individuals. Public facilities do not really cater to my needs as I may struggle to get things such as lube in some facilities and also dealing with homophobic staff. Also, the whole notion of acceptance and tolerance when it comes to society as most people tolerate queer people but do not accept us.
ON PRIDE AND ITS IMPORTANCE
Pride means celebrating and paying homage to all the LGBTQ+ individuals who paved the way for us to be able to live freely and also ensuring that we remember and continue the work they started. Pride is also a reminder to be who you want to be because how you live sets the precedent for the next queer person.
ADVICE TO MEMBERS OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY STRUGGLING WITH THEIR SEXUALITY OR GENDER IDENTITY.
Take your time, it’s your journey. No one can tell you when it is time, you will know when you are ready to make your sexuality public. It’s also imperative to talk to someone you may trust. What I also did was create an anonymous profile on online platforms such Grindr and Manhunt where I was engaging with other men to figure out what it is I wanted or truly liked.
HOPE FOR THE LGBT COMMUNITY IN AFRICA
My hope is that we will have a unified voice across Africa and people are not discriminated for who they are EVERYWHERE. I feel like we have so much power and we can unify across the continent to influence organizations such as the AU to make changes that we need.
You can follow Phumlani Kango on Instagram and read about his work in Mental Health and LGBTI activism on his website.
